Hooray for The Bear!


The Bear is running THIS!

Look! There she goes!

WEATHER: Warming up — 32ish!

MILES: 10.5

MILES THIS WEEK: 42.5

MILES THIS MONTH: 100

WHERE TO: Georgetown, Glover Park, blah, blah…

MOOD: Chipper but feeling a cold coming on.

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

My run this morning was wonderful.  Yay!  But today we have more important matters to tend to.

Because today, dear readers, we celebrate new runners everywhere by wishing good luck to a lovely woman (and this blog’s top commenter) who I will simply call The Bear (which has much more to do with her little commenter icon than her looks) (which are SMOKIN’ and not at all bear-like).

You see, The Bear is running her first race this weekend — P.F. Chang’s Rock ‘n’ Roll Half-Marathon in Phoenix, Arizona. And as she is a dear friend and a truly wonderful person, I have composed a poem for The Bear…13 lines in length, even, to propel her though 13 miles of sheer Arizonan sunny BLISS!

TO THE BEAR ON YOUR FIRST HALF-MARATHON:

Roses are red,

Your toenails are black.

Your sports bra is kickin';

Your skivvies are wack.

*

Your nipples won’t chafe

Because you’re not a guy.

If you crap yourself,

Try not to cry.

*

I hope you kick ass

When you run P.F. Chang’s.

Did you know that “chang’s”

Also rhymes with “wangs”?

*

(…because it does.)

————————–

New runners!  Unite!  Run a race!  And someday you, too, can be the recipient of a lovely rhyming poem that inspires and motivates you and also includes the word “wang.”

6 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by LB on January 14, 2010 at 7:24 pm

    …so do i get a poem if i decide to run Crazylegs again?

    it feels a little ridiculous to drive to Madison for a race, when there are so many I could run around here, but Crazylegs is just such a good name (and, i feel, describes my lower appendages appropriately).

    Reply

  2. Posted by Jmorgs on January 14, 2010 at 9:59 pm

    YAY BARR! DAni I’m glad to see that you are paying forward the pre race “pump you up” song/poem. I’m still coming up with something to top the chimp ridin on a segway cover I did for you…. it’s tough!

    Reply

  3. HAHAHAHAAAA! Chimpanzee riding on a segway! I had forgotten that!

    Reply

  4. Posted by Barrow on January 15, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    OMG HAHAHAH!!! changs rhymes with wangs… you know me and my sense of humor way, way too well :) And let’s just “pretend” that I’m that person in the blue shorts in the photo way out in front of everyone. I asked at the expo today if I could maybe move back a corral or two, and they looked at me like “well, OBVIOUSLY we don’t care if you run slower…”

    Top commenter!!!!!!!!! I will cement my status as such by commenting on every post you make with only “FIRST!!!!!!!”…… or “F1RST BITCHEZ!!!!!!!!” if you’re lucky.

    Reply

  5. Posted by LT on January 15, 2010 at 7:10 pm

    Ohhh boy, there is a HIGH lonox content going on in this post! Good luck BEAR!! (Before reading this I thought this might reference Ronnie the Bear…maybe another time…). Also I’m not sure who commented about Crazylegs but I’m definitely going to run it this year! Go runner-people!

    Reply

  6. Posted by AL on January 19, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    Haha, The Bear, I love it. Yes, go runner-people! Maybe someday I will be able to talk in your secret language, too, but actually I’ll probably always be a spectator. But I’m loving the blog!

    Reply

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