MILES THIS WEEK: BLAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
WHERE TO: Beyond the realm of mere mortals, to the place where only gods dare tread.
(By which I mean Boonesboro, MD, to Williamsport, MD)
As I type this, I am experiencing a level of leg-and-foot discomfort like I have never known before.
And yet. I feel the need to let you know that…
I AM A BEAUTIFUL ANIMAL! I AM A GOLDEN GOD! I AM THE PERSONIFICATION OF ALL THAT IS RIGHT WITH HUMANITY!
I took the JFK 50-Miler and I smacked it upside the head and told it to LISTEN TO ME or I would take it out to the back 40 and give it something to REALLY cry about.
I told the Appalachian Trail and the C&O Trail and the various country roads outside of Williamsport that they were MY bitches now, and I took them back to my room for some firm but tender loving.
I paid no respect to my fellow runners. I looked at them, scoffed, took their sisters out on cheap, filthy dates and DID NOT CALL ever again.
I peed in the Reston Runners’ Gatorade.
I fell once.
I ate many gels.
I chugged chicken broth by the quart.
I beat an ARMY RANGER.
I did not cry, I did not get sick, I did not even get all bitchy at Rusty at any point during the last 23 miles, during which he ran with me.
Well, OK, fine. I cried when I crossed the finish line. Fine.
I was the TWENTY-EIGHTH woman finisher.
Team, life is beautiful. I need to drink this beer and sleep. Thanks for reading. A fuller recap to come.