Intervals = Ear-Peeing

WEATHER: As of 6 AM — 19 degrees or so?  Something like that.  Chilly, breezy.  And dark.




MOOD: Chipper

TYPE OF RUN: Intervals, as recommended by the VeteranTraningProgram (from the Boston Marathon website).  1 mile – 2 mile – 1 mile, plus warm-up, cool-down, and 4 min/7 min recovery.


The blog is paying off — the knowledge that the like 5 of you who read this might judge me if I didn’t do my daily running duty caused me to roll out of bed at 5:45 and not only do my 10 miles but do the intervals.  Which for me is an accomplishment.  Intervals might be considered the vegetables of training — like making your 10-year-old eat his brussels sprouts because they’re GOOD FOR HIM even if they TASTE LIKE CAT VOMIT.

This is a stupid analogy.  Vegetables are food.  Food is awesome.  Food is eaten.  Eating is the best thing in the world, next to being 15 and realizing that Lance Bass is STILL SINGLE and so you STILL HAVE A CHANCE WITH THIS GUY!

…so, yeah.  Eating.  It’s awesome.  Anyway.

Interval training is more akin to this thing this powerfully strange study hall monitor told me in high school.  I walked up to Mrs. I.’s desk one day (I. stood for her surname, “Ihavelowpaydemands”) with an earache, hoping to go to the nurse’s office.

“You know,” she smacked (for Mrs. I. said everything through these thin wormy lips that guarded the entrance to a hyper-salivated mouth that was NEVER CLOSED FOR LONG ENOUGH), “when I was a kid, if you had an ear infection, you had someone pee in your ear.”

“……huh,” I responded.

“Maybe YOU should have someone pee in your ear!” she suggested, without the faintest trace of joking-ness.

“…but…but we don’t know I have an ear infection!”

“Oh, if it hurts that much, you probably do.”

Gosh, OK. “Well, how do you know it helps?  Are there, like, studies?”

She put her hands on her hips, exasperated at this pinhead before her, asking impertinent questions.  “Of COURSE not, but it certainly never did anybody any worse!”

Touche, madam.

So there you go.  This is how I think about speedwork — it sucks while you do it, it feels like maybe the benefits are purely psychological, you have to close your eyes and grit your teeth and bear it, it’s probably better done (at least in my case) when it’s dark out and you’re too groggy to know better, and it never made anybody any WORSE off.  Not unlike getting one’s ear peed in.

Unbeatable inspiration.  There you have it.

You’re welcome.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Barrow on January 4, 2010 at 10:12 pm

    So you managed to write a post about running that included references to cat vomit, Lance Bass, and peeing in one’s ear. Madam, you had me at “cat vomit”. Touchy!!


  2. […] want to get through interval workouts, because interval workouts are as much fun as pap smears (or ear-peeing, as an earlier post put […]


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