WEATHER: Beautiful. Warm but not humid, and sunny and beautiful and beautiful.
MILES THIS WEEK: 41ish.
WHERE TO: All of it.
TODAY’S RUNNING SONG: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkHp_JLtxck
For those of you scoring at home (or for those home alone) <rim shot>, I have just over three months to get myself in prime condition to qualify for the Olympic ultramarathon trials. So it’s time to get crackin’! I hear that Alberto Salazar trained for a whole 4 months before he ran in the Olympics, so I have some time to make up if I want to achieve my dream. And as it turns out, if you don’t know how to accomplish any particular goal, there is a wealth of information out there telling you exactly how to do anything–anything–you set your mind to. And so, using one of the shortest checklists that I could find for how to accomplish a goal, I give you:
THE OFFICIAL ACTION PLAN.
1) You need to deeply desire the goal or resolution.
OK, sounds fine. I, DJ, deeply desire to qualify for the ultramarathon Olympic Trials with every fiber of my being, including my hair and my bum and my hoo-hoos and my contact lenses.
OK, done. NEXT!
2) Visualize yourself achieving the goal.
Oh, boy. I do this on a daily basis, I tell you what. It goes something like this: I’m running down the home stretch, through the streets of Williamsport, Maryland, with happy people clapping happily for the happy runners as they run by. I close my eyes and let my feet carry me across the finish line, and for a moment, the world is in slow motion, and i gracefully fling my arms wide as my head drops back with exhaustion and break the tape, with only a glisten of sweat on my brow and hair artfully mussed but still looking rather fetching.
The clouds part and Dick Vitale puts the microphone in my face. “Bay-bee!” he yells. “Diaper dandy! Awesome! Bay-bee!”
“You did it! You qualified!” says Joan Benoit-Samuelson, putting a foil blanket over my shoulders.
“You’ll do great at the trials!” says Carl Lewis.
“Make America proud!” says Kerri Strug.
“Let me massage your feet and brush your hair!” says Michael Phelps.
“U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” says Gandalf, hoisting me into a firemen’s carry and flying me to the nearest Chipotle, where I proceed to put my face in a trough of burritos while Mikey P. recounts his favorite parts of the race.
3) Make a plan for the path you need to follow to accomplish the goal.
The plan has been found. The gels have been bought. Though maybe I should purchase myself a new hairbrush. The one I have right now has like dried hair gel gunk on it and maybe some marinara sauce.
4) Commit to achieving the goal by writing down the goal.
Done and done, obvi, ad nauseum.
5) Establish times for checking your progress in your calendar system.
Every day, kids. Same time, same place. Well, ok, same place. Time will vary depending on my work/running/feeding/socializing/drinking/man-izing/knitting schedule.
6) Review your overall progress regularly.
<removes computer from lap, looks at legs>
They seem fine. Feet seem fine.
To be honest, I sure feel faster than I did this morning, not least because I woke up this morning with an enchilada hangover like you wouldn’t believe.
“Guhhhhh,” I said, shuffling to the kitchen for a glass of water.
“There, there,” said Gandalf, getting off the kitchen barstool and putting down his PBR. “We all may live to see such dark times,” he added, reaching out to rub my belly. Which seemed creepy but was actually sort of nice of him.
Anyway, I feel fantastic right now. Progress! We are that much closer to success!
OK, time for bed.