Emo-Running! The best kind!

Strong displays of emotion make me break out in hives, you know.

WEATHER: A bit humid, but cooler.

MILES: 10?

MILES THIS WEEK: Counting is hard.

WHERE TO: National Cathedral, other places.

MOOD: Overwhelmed.



Alright, bitches.  Cue music.

Even when you’re a kickass ultrarunner (if only in your own booze-and-peanut-butter-puffins-addled mind) and superpumped about your Olympic prospects, sometimes you feel like you’re having one of those days.  And then sometimes you feel like you’re having several of “those days” all at once.  And then sometimes you feel like several years’ worth of “those days” have been squished together into a tiny, superdense ball of time, which then ‘SPLODES into a giant supernova and then your life is just this flaming-out celestial event, complete with black holes and wormholes and burning and pain and Stephen Hawking and a landlord who decides to be a real sore asshole to you about the fact that he is clearly morally opposed to following DC building code when renovating your apartment, as is evidenced by the fluctuating water content of your bedroom.

OK, let’s leave Stephen Hawking out of this, because he seems like a very nice person.  Also, I bet he could renovate an apartment right.

This was where I was last weekend — in a very dark, angry place, from which I wrote many stern, lawyerly e-mails to my landlord filled with lawyerly words like “uninhabitable” and “recourse” and “tort” and “briefcase.”

Why do I mention this on my running blog, besides making you listen to me vent?  Because I had two GLORIOUS long runs last weekend.  Strong, fatigue-free, anger-fueled runs.  Which brings me to today’s topic:


Feelings are beautiful parts of life, providing spice and richness and fullness to our daily experiences and making us cry every time we watch Lars and the Real Girl, even though it’s not even really that sad.

Anyway.  Emotions can also give us fuel during our runs.  Fuel that no coffee-chia seed-peanut butter-Gu concoction can ever match.  Here is how your various emotions can help your running.

Anger (Fuel grade: A)

Anger is powerful stuff. It can take what would otherwise be a hum-drum, la-dee-da morning 5-mile jog and turn it into training-fest 3000, complete with sprint intervals, push-ups, splits, and break-dancing.  “You don’t want to promote me, boss?/call me back, attractive man on whom I dumped a beer?/spoon me at night, roommate?” says your brain.  “FINE.  Time for 35 miles!”  Yes, anger can make you overdo it a bit, but at the time, it will feel juuuust right.

Happiness (Fuel grade: B)

Happy runs are — duh — happy.  The only problem is that happiness makes one want to do all sorts of things other than running.  When you get the news that your sister is getting married/your best friend is preggers/Ryan Gosling has like 5 movies coming out, you want to make 50 phone calls and tell the world and have a cigar and some scotch.  Anything but running.

That said, if you do get around to going for a spin, it’s just as good as an anger-run, with an extra dose of “WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Sad (Fuel grade: C-)

Tough to say, since sad bleeds into anger so easily, at least for this lady.  After all, if you’re upset enough to be sad about something, you sure as hell can usually find someone to blame for your sadness.  Which leads naturally to anger.

But sometimes that just chain reaction doesn’t quite work, and you get stuck in the saddypants place.  And does running work when your dog dies/your hottie leaves you/your LAST PACKET of Easy Mac boils over? Negative side: running while crying a little makes you look absolutely batshit crazy.  Plus side: no one catcalls/harasses the running-crying-crazy girl.

Hungry (D-)

Oy.  One of the worst running emotions.  Running will only make this worse.

Hot and Bothered (F)

I said being hungry was ONE of the worst.  Being hungry for the lovin’ is THE worst.  Sorry, kids.  This one is no fun, either.  Put some Al Green on your iPod, hope for the best, and for the love of God, when you run past the Georgetown cross country team, just close your eyes and hum really loud.  Lalala, they’re not there, you are in your own little one-person world.  Lalala.

Hope for a Better Tomorrow (???)

Sometimes you look around at the world and say, “What the hell happened to the world?  These kids with their pants around their knees and their hippity hoppity music.”  And then the clouds break and the sun comes through, and for a brief moment you feel God’s light on your face.  Then a car drives by and hits a puppy and you start to tear up, but then you think to yourself, “I could really go for a Chipotle burrito right now.  With extra sour cream.”  Then the Georgetown men’s cross country team runs by.  Maybe there’s some good in the world, you think.

Whoa.  This is, like, every emotion at once.  I can’t even begin.  Better go run like 20 miles just to get it out of your system.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by AKL on August 26, 2011 at 9:02 am

    Fabulous post! Made me laugh/cry/get angry.


  2. lol…awesome post! 🙂


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