Archive for July, 2013



Lobster Dog is glad to be back. (Image via

WEATHER: Somewhat humid. Which for DC in July, is completely gloriously beautiful, compared to the usual heavy urban fug of unnatural, can’t-fan-yourself-without-dripping-with-sweat humidity plus bus-farts plus garbage truck waftings.

MILES: 17.


WHERE TO: A little past the C&O Towpath 6-mile marker, then back.

MOOD: Life is beautiful.



Guys, it’s taking a lot of ibuprofen, ice, physical therapy, heel lifts, orthotics, yoga, and elbow grease, but we are back in business <pumps fist, does gratuitous pelvic thrust>.

Currently the tentative goal is to do the On the Road for Education (Mason City, IA) marathon in October, assuming my various foot tendons don’t snap/swell to the size of golf balls/punch me in the face. But the REAL goal — dropping the expensive gym membership, throwing a few gels in the sports bra, and occasionally nearly-heaving in the bushes next to the C&O towpath — well, that has been met. And there is much rejoicing.

I will now take questions from the audience.

Q: How well do you expect to do in the Mason City marathon?

A: Very well — top 30 among women, I’m thinking.

Q: That’s ambitious. Are you sure you can do it?

A: Positive.

Q: Wait. Weren’t there only 26 female finishers last year?

A: Shut up.

Q: How are your feet?

A: The tendons are sort of sore, but I did today have my first broken-off toenail incident in years.

Q: How did it feel?

A: Like drinking the blood of a unicorn-magical koala hybrid. Like staring Sauron in the face and then kneeing him in the balls. Like going on a piggyback ride on Sasquatch through the peppermint forest. Like victory.

Also, like knowing I’ll have one hell of an ingrown toenail in a few weeks.

Q: Uh-huh. Are you, as we speak, sitting on your futon and barely breathing as you attempt to slowly lower your heels into the absolute-effing-zero-ice-bucket-of-pain?

A: I prefer to refer to it as the absolute-effing-zero-ice-bucket-of-pain-and-redemption.

Q: Have you written a song about recovery?

A: Yes I have.

<to the tune of “Goodnight Ladies”>

I got my feet back.

I got my feet back.

I got my feet back.

Popping my blisters now.

Q: <wipes tears> That’s very moving.

A: You’re telling me.

It’s good to be back, y’all.