INJURY DURATION: Eternity
PAIN LOCATION: Left kneecap region.
PAIN ON A SCALE OF 1-10: 2
OTHER SYMPTOMS: Obsessive elliptical use
HURTS WHEN I: ONLY WHEN I RUN. Nothing else. Really. I walk, jump, squat, etc. …and it’s FINE. I jog for 3 minutes on a treadmill and it hurts. Go flippin’ figure.
HURTS SORT OF WHEN I: <see above>
DOESN’T HURT WHEN I: <again. see above.>
1) Ice. Ice ice ice. The frostbitten patch on my knee is now hardened and keratinized and all funky-feeling. It’s kind of cool.
2) Mad Men.
3) Obsessive thesis work.
4) Calling an orthopedist to get this crap taken care of.
4.5) …which necessitated a call to the nice people at United Healthcare. Shirley explained to me my benefits, because understanding and seeking health care is one of those “adult” things I’m not yet able to do, along with doing taxes, going on a date with a man who doesn’t just annoy the sheer hell out of me, and going a full day at work without saying something mildly inappropriate but ridiculously funny, which is how I justify it when a word like “boobies” comes flying out of my mouth in professional company.
5) Education. I showed you all a helpful diagram yesterday, but The Bear sent me a more comprehensive knee illustration to better show me how to treat my condition:
…so I need to put ice on the boner, so it doesn’t keep grinding on the boner, which is also going to cause some pain, naturally, to the boner when it bends against the boner. I get it now!
Seriously, this is all really depressing. I think I’m taking a few days off from even thinking about it.
Signing off for a few,