Posts Tagged ‘The Irishwoman’

The Jingle All The Way 10K Report Card (subtitle: The Difference Between 10Ks and Marathons) (subtitle: DJ eats her words) (subtitle: sort of) (subtitle: I still vow to make fun of 5Ks.)

Hey. I got an idea. Attach these to your shoes and run and try not to feel homicidal. Go on. Do it.



MILES THIS WEEK: Honestly, do you care?  Especially if I don’t?  Jerkface.

WHERE TO: Nowhere today, but yesterday…the Jingle All The Way 10K!

MOOD: Unnnnnngh. <shiver>


There are ruts, dear readers, and then there are Ruts.  Ruts with a capital R and 10-foot concrete walls on each side with no footholds to allow you to scramble out and scurry away.  Ruts created by having run the greatest race of your life and then having written happy fun blog posts about it and having fallen increasingly in love with hundreds of people, especially the residents of Hagerstown, Maryland, in the process.  And then realizing that your life no longer has purpose.  No goals.  No future plans.  <choking bourgeois sob> Ruts that can only be broken out of when you are at the Red Derby on your birthday a little over a week ago with your college friend Mr. Cool thrusting two tequila shots into your hands and also saying, “ARE YOU SO PUMPED FOR THE JINGLE ALL THE WAY 10K?”

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WEATHER: 70 and BEAUTIFUL.  SUNNY.  Full of Easter bliss.

MILES: 19.

WHERE TO: All over the glorious creation that is DC.

MOOD: Chock full of the holy bliss that is that of the long-distance runner.


1And on the sabbath, the third day of the weekend (counting Friday), the tourists poured forth from their hotels and friends’ homes in Arlington 2and came forth to parts of DC including Georgetown and Hains’ Point, 3but most especially the Mall, 4and they did multiply and cover the land, gawking at the cherry blossoms and waiting like schlubs for the tourist shuttles.

5When lo, she who had lived for 40 days in the wilderness of physical therapy and yoga and the teeny GW swimming pool opened the door of her house and went forth into the land of the District of Columbia, 6spreading good running vibes everywhere that she went, 7and also spreading sweat on every street corner, where she stopped at traffic lights to squeeze out her ponytail, which was soaked through with the honest sweat of those who labor.

8And the tourists were grossed out, and they made this known, for they sayeth to her, even the little ones sayeth to her, “GROSS!”  9And indeed, it was gross.

10But she who was healed completed her 19-mile loop and went unto her home, where waited her housemate, The Irishwoman.  11And The Irishwoman said, “Are you not injured?  Surely your knee is not alive and well, for only several months ago we laid it to rest in Ace bandages and ice packs.”

12And she-who-was-healed pumped her fist in the air and responded, “Truly, I say unto you, Irishwoman, the leg is better, and it brings hope 13that I might complete Boston, which is in two weeks, should I have enough time and money to do it, as my life is currently taken over by school, 14which sucks the big one.  15A lot.  16But I am a rock star.”

17And the woman whose leg was healed by the grace of God 18and also by Chilli, the adorable physical therapist, 19raised the “rock and roll” hand sign at the Irishwoman, and they bumped chests.  20And yes, the healed one did slime the Irishwoman with her copious sweat, but they were not ashamed, for theirs was the joy of those who live in DC at Cherry Blossom Time.